Shiv Mahimna Stotra

Good, quite literate. Great background on the story of the Shiva Mahimna Stotram.

Spirituality and God - A guide

The story behind Shiv Mahimna stotra is as follows.

Pushpa danta was a Gandharva (a musician for the Gods).  He would visit and enjoy the Garden of the King Chitraratha.  He enjoyed the gardens and the flowers immensely and subsequently started stealing flowers from the Garden.  King Chitraratha could not catch him because he had the power to become invisible.  So King Chitraratha spread Bilipatra on the garden.  Pushpadanta not realizing it, stepped into the garden and was caught.  Since the bilipatra is something offered to Shiv as oblation, Shiv was displeased.   The result of this transgression was he could no longer remain invisible. Pushpadanta wanted to have the powers to remain invisible again and he prayed to Sada shiv and created the Shiv Mahimna.

Reciting the Shiv Mahimna 11 times is called the laghu rudri and reciting it 108 times is called Maharudri.

The interpretation :  King Chitraratha refers…

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Hard drugs to Hard Work?

Hard work. Hard drugs?

Hardening. Of the Arteries?


Hard life. Hard hearts. Hard world.

Hard ball.

I looked up hard in the French dictionary and

it said if I meant hard as in the hardness of a brick

then it is durs, but if I meant hard as in it is hard

to learn french then it is difficile.

I wondered at the differences. If you said

difficult in English you would be being polite. By

saying hard you are being serious.

Of course a brick can never be difficult.

I have worked hard for two days. The question

arises, should I work again for another?

There was no agreement between myself

and Labor Ready that I should work another

day, I had no plans, but the group of workers

I was with when we quit tonight though we

could get another day and requested the

manager to write repeat on their work sheets.

They had a quarrel it seemed. There seems

to be a quarrel in Labor Ready. Yes, I wanted

more work and I thought maybe about another

day, this next day and I told the manager to

wrote repeat on mine, too. Later, i doubted.

I had no gas for another day. I had planned to

go to the office Monday morning, after 10 when

Karen was in and submit my work sheets, but

ambitious people said get in early, see Billy,

get your money and go to work another 8 hours.

Ambitious people. Some people admire ambition

and it can be a worthy trait. Others have another

take on ambition and say “kill it out.”

D. R. Butler says, take life lightly. Be of a light

Heart. I am with him.

Journal post PSY 496 A01

Reading about intervention in the book. That word sounds of Vietnam, so military and actually awful. You know in the 80’s there were these places that really didn’t have a patients best interests at heart and abused those in their care. There should be more talk to that. It could be difficult to even find it on the internet.
I remember Straight, Inc. and then thereafter a local group in Jacksonville, Florida called Charter by the Sea was abusing the people who went to it for help. Intervention, the word, symbolizes that for me.I understand that the book is speaking of clinical settings but I still hear that ugly Vietnam era kind of thing,like sending 500,000 men to Vietnam. There is policing attitude, to it, although
I understand it could be medical where someone’s life is at stake.
The problem with drugs abuse is it runs the gamut from very intellectual kids trying marijuana to middle aged men strung out on heroin. Very different things. I visited a web site recently called The Truth About Drugs and it was plainly a vey biased site. I happened upon the LSD part of it and it is just frightening. I have taken LSD and I did not have any hallucinations. I was consumed, though, more or less for entire day. A couple of times, maybe more and the mushrooms. And I smoked pot daily as did my more successful friends. I presume it is a site that is flattered by a news outlet like FOX News whose lies are a daily occurrrence.
I hope it is just the way I hear it, intervention. I know there are medical terms about that are new to me, like I had a “procedure” to insert 2 stents into an artery in 2004 and people speak of health incidents. That is a preferable way to look at it but this is psychology and many people are suspicious and afraid of what psychology can accomplish.
An interesting term came up in the reading about “personality.” I can see the client freaking out saying, “ARE THEY TRYING TO CHANGE MY VERY PERSONALITY?” Many believe their personality to be the very foundation of their being, the egoic entity if you will. They are frightened when they hear Buddhists speaking of no personality and of Hindus who speak of the destruction of the ego.
These other philosophies being involved might be my problem. If I could just be about 12 years old again, oh, yeah, 18 or 21 maybe.


I’m so down. I guess from the game. Indeed, from the lack of funds. Put my last $5 in the gas tank. Got a police clearance to go eat at St. Francis.  No satisfaction from Harmon and Shane. Shane’s money for beer. Harmon’s, God knows, his wife’s rent. But get me into his storage no can do. Pay the balance on the tickets I paid for him. NO. He’s a charity case actually as am I.  Can’t have anyone to the place I am given. Not that anybody ever would. I have been through that already. Nobody gives a shit about me. See, Ed, oh fuck that shit. He’ll just want money.  Well, I suppose that’s all they have to give. No charm, no fun.

Family. Mom used to say it, Fambilly. I’ve begun to say  it Fambully. New password at Maude’s I find very cute, “Don’t Ask.” That’s the feeling. That way they can talk about love and compassion until they’re blue in the face and EDDIE won’t ask. Don’t ask. Excellent.

Now I’ve finally come to a course on addiction. Oh, boy, does it suck. I was so destined to be a substance abuser and now of course I understand that I was. I even see the INTERVENTION. That’s where mom said I looked just like dad. Oh, that was keen. She never liked drugs. She grew up in prohibition did you know. Since I hated the old man I could never hold that against mom. It was totally tight to be that straight. Right on, mom. You was the straightest.

More on Addictions and Addictive Behavior. Oh, Lord look out for dependency. Lord, save me. Yeah, if you stand by the Lord you have a sure and true protective factor. If the family rock and rolled (haven’t seen this yet, but I’m sure it’s in there) then you have a risk factor. Trudge along, Mr. Bryan, at the end of this course comes your stipend. Less this time because you don’t have as far to go. Less and less and less and less. The Lesser Self.

My first module I have to write a 2-3 page paper on a girl developing a coffee habit, caffeine addiction. She is a white girl, 25, who moved away from home at 18 to get away from an alcoholic father. She has had a job as an administrative assistant with a construction company but she doesn’t like it and is going to school for a degree in criminology.  Unfortunately, she gets so tired from work and school that she can’t stay up long enough to get her school work done and so her roommate has been making her coffee late at night. She is drinking 3 and more cups a night. I have to point out her risk factors (at least 2) and her protective factors (also at least 2).  I see the risk factor as an alcoholic father. Oh, she also occassionally consumes alchohol and she smokes.  I also see her new coffee drinking habit as a risk factor. Protective factors are her independence, living on her own and her drive to succeed, that is going back to school.

I need to put that into 2 to 3 pages. Oh, I also have to note one more possible risk or protective factor that is not included in the case as it stands. 😦

Faith and Fate

How similar the two words are, faith and fate. You are asked to have faith, especially now in these difficult times that you as well as I may find ourselves. Have faith, surrender to your fate. You grow tired of believing your loved ones are going to get you out of it all, the debt, the joblessness, the hardship in general, the old bomb of a van but you know they are not really the origin of all gifts, it is God, the Inner Self. It is your fate to lose yourself in the Inner Self, God and this is your faith.


I got out of my parent’s home for a short while when I was collecting SSI,  Supplemental Security Income in the 80’s. It was lonely. I lived in a small place advertised as cabins out behind Butler Plaza. I visited Ashley’s Pub quite often. I don’t remember how long I was there but the SSI was my means. I took that for one year but didn’t show up for the renewal. I sometimes reflect on whether I needed more personal support. What people said was not doing for you was not helping you at all.  A little talk about need.  A little convincing of the need would have helped. Some people around to reaffirm the need and to enjoy my lack of need in having it, to be happy that Eddie had a little money to spend. I bought a Chaitanya-Charitamrita, a holy book of the Krsna devotees with that money. I don’t know why I gave up. I think about “in here” and “out there.” At home I was taught you couldn’t trust anybody “out there,” especially not the way you trusted people, “in here.”

Do you know what it is to be without people? Without peers, friends, acquaintances? I do. It is very painful, like a disease, actually.


Argosy Journal Entry


Sorry if I didn’t do as much as I could have for the discussion.
I was a client once. It didn’t really produce the results I wished.
Watched basketball last night. My friend Paul is out of town, gone
to his Minnesota. He went to Winona State College in Minnesota and
he will be watching the basketball there in person. He’s very
happy about that.
I had trouble with the copy and paste in the discussion area. Frustrated
me, terribly. I am involved with a lot of Left political thinking. We don’t
all agree. To them I say where are they on the Guru? Where are they
on the meditation. They preach against war but they are not against
slaughtering animals to satisfy their appetite, their taste buds. The
bitch about the NSA, presidents who held slaves and expect me to
be on their side thought they haven’t a kind word for my spiritual beliefs.
They call it religion. Simpletons who just want to satisfy their ambition.
So, I am distracted and that is something to look out for in school.
I found it interesting that different interview techniques can advance our
progress with non-psychological difficulties such as diabetes. On
the other hand I have read enough to see applying psychoanalysis to
gaining employment can be very stupid.
I guess I’m just lonely this weekend.
I own a van and pay insurance but another homeless person is
driving it. The things we need to do to get by sometimes. He has no
license. He is a young man, a black man who has been homeless for
years. After working with him through the summer of 2012 I got my
loan from Argosy and left him. That angered him quite a bit. I was angry
too. He didn’t pay enough and sometimes jipped me. He had and still
has many of my things in his storage. He is aloof about taking care of
my problems but his family’s are of an urgent matter. I don’t think he is
even really married though he and her have a 16 year old child. Well,
so, he has my van. We communicate by text messages. He doesn’t
even take a Food Stamps phone. He’s too good for that. So, that’s
another bill. I am paying the insurance and concerned that my van get
its servicing. He is not getting it serviced. Does not say he refuses, just
avoids the subject. Doesn’t serve his purpose. So, he helped me in
2012. Maybe someone else could have. There was a young fellow invited
me to paint houses but I thought that was too demanding for me. I have
diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and high lipids. I have
never been a very physical person and painting I remember from my
boyhood. I helped pain the house.
Should I put this on Craigslist under rants? Should I post it to my blog
for all to see?